


The Jocelyn Chronicles

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-19
Updated: 2003-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-27 01:42:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: This series follows the newest member of the Liberty gang as she gets used to life in "The Pitts".  The first stop on the way is the Liberty Diner.  Picks up whereBoarding School Runawayleft off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

I woke up at 8:15—well, 8:14 and 56 seconds to be precise—and tried to sit up. Well, that was a bloody fucked idea. I grabbed my head and squeezed my right eye shut, as if that would dull the pain. I glanced around the loft, slowly taking in everything around me: Ben and Michael were sleeping on the couch, heads at opposite ends resting on the couch’s arms; Emmett was propped up against the couch; Daphne was curled up at the end of my bed; and, surprise, surprise, Brian and Justin were in their own bed, dozing softly. I got out of bed, minding Daphne and my still wobbly legs and made my way over to the kitchen where I got the bottle of aspirin out of the cupboard. As I chugged down 3 aspirins with a glass of water, I recalled the previous night’s events. 

Brian had said we were going out to dinner to celebrate my new found freedom from my wicked parents. He didn’t, however, mention where we were going. After I’d explained my day to him and Justin, I asked decided to ask.

“So Brian, where exactly are we going for dinner?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise,” he said, one of his smirks appearing on his face. I must have had a questioning look on my face, because he went on to say, “Don’t worry; you’ll like it.”

“Yeah, it, them…everything,” Justin said, getting up to change into his ‘party clothes’. Brian smiled bigger and looked at me.

“We’re not leaving for about an hour and half, so why don’t you do your homework or whatever while I…do something else,” Brian said as he got up and followed his blonde into the bedroom.

“You mean someone else, don’t you?” I laughed. Brian only looked back and winked, knowing he’d been caught. I shook my head and sat down to work on my fucking satanic Chemistry homework. 

I could hardly believe that Brian was basically the equivalent to my dad now. Lord knows that he never asked for this or even wanted it, but he did it anyway, out of kindness, out of…love for Justin and caring for me and other reasons that I just don’t know about and might never know about. But for some reason I get the feeling that somehow Brian sympathized—or at least empathized—with me. Anyway it doesn’t really matter now. All that matters is that I’m here and my parents can’t fuck with my life anymore.

But listen to me; I’ve gone off on a tangent. Let’s fast-forward to an hour and a half later, when Brian, Justin and I arrived at the place we were going to be eating at.

“The Liberty Diner?” I asked, looking back and forth between Brian and Justin.

“Yup, this is it,” Brian said, holding the door open for Justin and I.

“Isn’t this where you work?” I asked, looking around. The place was absolutely swarming with gay men, all beautiful, some more so than others. But the table that caught my eye the most is the one Brian and Justin headed for. On one side of the booth was a man dressed mostly in hot pink pleather and on the other side was a muscular man in glasses with his arm around a smaller man who looked more like a large little boy. Brian and Justin stopped in front of them.

“Well, well, look who’s finally decided to grace us with their presence,” the hot pink pleather man said. Brian glared at him before pulling me over.

“Some things just can’t be left unattended to,” he said. “Meet Jocelyn. Jocelyn, these are the guys; well, most of them anyway. This hot pink glow stick is Emmett,” he said gesturing towards hot pink pleather man. “And those two lovely gentlemen are Mike and Ben,” he said gesturing towards buff man and big little boy.

“Lovely to make your acquaintance,” Emmett said, sticking out his hand for me to shake. When we finished shaking hands Brian and Justin sat down next to Emmett, so I sat next to Ben and Mike. “Well, aren’t you a site for sore eyes! Tell me; what is a girl like you doing with two queers on a Friday night?” I looked to Justin and Brian for the answers, but they didn’t seem to have any.

“I’m sort of staying with them,” I said finally. When it looked like everyone, save for Justin and Brian, expected me to go on, I said, “It’s a long story, really.”

“I’m sure we’d all love to hear it,” Emmett said, resting his head in his hands. Just as I was about to counter Emmett’s comment, a woman with a bright red wig came over to the table.

“Brian, Sunshine! Long time no see, huh?” She said as she ruffed up both Brian and Justin’s hair respectively. Brian flinched away from her touch but Justin seemed to take it. The woman then turned her gaze over to me. “Who’s this?” She asked no one in particular.

“This is our new friend Jocelyn,” Justin said. “Well, actually, she’s my old friend, Brian’s new friend. She’s been staying with us for awhile. Jocelyn, this is Debbie.” The woman looked back at me again.

“Well look at you; aren’t you just a living doll!” She said as she pinched my cheeks. 

“Ma, don’t embarrass her,” the one Brian had called Mike said.

“So,” Debbie went on, seemingly ignoring Michael, “what are you doing here with Brian and Sunshine?”

“She was just about to tell us when you came over,” Emmett said. Everyone directed their gaze back at me. I looked from Brian to Justin, asking for an answer to any of my questions.

“It’s okay Jocelyn; you can tell them if you want. They’re trustworthy,” Brian said. So I told the whole story of how I’d run away from school and finally explained that Brian had adopted me. Everyone listened, jaws dropped. When I was finished, Em brushed a tear away from his cheek.

“That is such a lovely story,” Em said. He then turned to Brian. “Well bless my stars; someone besides Dorothy confirms that the Tin Man does in fact have a heart.” Brian gave Emmett another playful glare while Justin gave everyone an ‘I-told-you-so’ grin, although I have no idea what either was for. Debbie then slapped Brian on the back.

“Well it’s about time that you showed your true colors young man!” She yelled. It seemed to me that this woman couldn’t say a bloody thing without yelling and/or hitting someone. “So what can I get everyone? The usual for you boys?” They all nodded, a chorus of ‘yes that’d be wonderful.’s and ‘do I ever order anything else?’s followed. She then turned to me. “And how about you baby?” I looked at the menu.

“I’ll have a double bacon cheeseburger with pickles, lettuce and onions, a large order of fries and a black and white milkshake,” I responded. Debbie looked impressed.

“Well you sure can put it away huh? Just like Sunshine over here,” she chuckled, taking the menu. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.” With that she went back to the kitchen. I turned back to the boys.

“So Brian, Justin; what else have you guys been up to lately?” Ben asked.

“Besides adopting a kid? Not much,” Brian answered. “Oh, Jocelyn and Cyn did manage to get me a new job,” he added as an afterthought.

“Brian that’s great!” Mike said. “Where is it?”

“Genosphere; it’s an agency about 45 minutes from here,” Brian said. “It’s a really good agency; they land some of the most sought after accounts in Pennsylvania. I never would’ve gotten the job if Jocelyn and Cyn hadn’t done some expert sleuthing for me.” Mike looked at me and smiled genuinely, causing me to blush.

“You must be some kid,” he said.

“It was nothing, really; Brian’s a talented adman. He would’ve gotten the job eventually,” I said humbly.

“What about you Justin?” Ben asked, looking over at Justin.

“Oh I’ve been busy working on a project for school,” Justin said. He went on to explain his project, and I was thankful for the brief hiatus. Soon Debbie came over with our food and everyone started digging in. Emmett swallowed his corned beef and looked over at me.

“Sweetie I just have to tell you that I love, love, love your skirt! Where on earth did you get it?”

“Brian got it for me, as a present for me to wear on the first day of school. It’s Dolce,” I explained proudly. I’d never owned anything with a designer label before. Emmett was both impressed and shocked at the same time.

“Well you wear it well sweetie! Oh, I know! Brian, can I take her shopping later, can I?” Emmett said while clapping his hands.

“Calm down Jackie O’,” Brian said, nibbling at his turkey on rye. “It’s fine with me, but since it’s not my death sentence why don’t you ask her?” Emmett looked excitedly over at me, impervious to Brian’s insults.

“Sure; why not?” I answered. Emmett clapped his hands again and picked up his sandwich.

“Oh this is going to be so much fun! It’ll help me get my mind off of…” he stopped short and his mood shifted from ecstatic to slightly less than in 3 seconds flat. “…Well, you know, off of Teddy.” I had no idea who Teddy was, and I knew better than to ask right then. Instead I thought it might be helpful to change the subject.

“So anyway, Mike; what do you do?” I said as I picked up a fry.

“I own a comic book store,” he said, sounding very proud. This piqued my interest.

“Really? Aw, that’s brilliant!” I said, forgetting about my fry momentarily.

“You into comics?” He asked, eyebrow arched.

“Yeah, you into comics?” Brian repeated. I smiled, sort of embarrassed for having given away my secret.

“Sort of. Back in boarding school we weren’t allowed to watch television, so when we’d make a visit to town I’d go to this little comic shop and buy as many as I could. They were the closet thing to cartoons that I had at St. Clair’s.”

“So what was your favorite?” Mike asked.

“Well, most people think it’s kinda silly, but I always loved Captain Astro,” I said, a little embarrassed by my admission. Mike’s jaw dropped.

“You’re shitting me, right?” He asked, astonished.

“Nope; I loved the graphics, the storylines, the messages, everything.”

“Me too; it was my favorite comic since I was twelve up until they decided to end it!” He said excitedly. I couldn’t believe it.

“Wow, that’s amazing! I never thought I’d meet anyone else who liked it as much as I did.”

“Well if you liked Captain Astro, then you’ll love Rage,” Justin said.

“What’s Rage?” I asked.

“It’s a comic me and Justin made,” Mike answered. “Why don’t you come by the store tomorrow and I’ll show it to you?”

“I’m keen on that,” I answered. I turned to Emmett. “And then maybe we could go shopping after that?”

“It’s a date Sugar!” Emmett answered. I looked at Brian who I could tell was trying very hard not to smile.

“So where are we off to next?” I asked, convinced that the night didn’t end here.

“Babylon,” Justin answered.

“Babylon?” I asked.

“Yep; the place where every fag’s dreams come true,” Justin answered, guzzling down his Coke. When everyone was finished we headed off.

Well, to make a long story short, we all had a blast, drinking, dancing, you know, the works! Brian got so drunk that he invited everyone back to the loft and even made me call Daph and invite her over as well! We danced and boozed till the wee hours of the morning, letting go of every worry from the previous day.

That’s how I ended up with this monster headache. But no worries, I think to myself as I climb back in bed. The aspirin has started working it’s magic I’ve decided that I’m really going to like living here.


	2. The Jocelyn Chronicles

I came home from school and flung myself onto the couch. It had been exactly one week since Brian and Justin had taken me to the diner and Babylon. The school week had been brutal: I had three tests, had to do five essays and my column for the school paper was due on Monday. Just when I thought nothing could brighten up my day, who shows up at my side but Nolan. I had been walking down the street to hail a cab when he ran up beside me.

“Hey Jocelyn,” he said. I was a little startled, but managed to stay smooth.

“Nolan,” I said, a coy smile coming across my face. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I just wondered if I might escort you home,” he said crooking his arm. My smile widened as I took his arm.

“I’d love that,” I said. So we walked a little further. “Hold on; I’m going to hail us a cab.”

“A cab?”

“Yeah; I live all the way over on Tremont. It’s too far to walk.”

“Alright then,” Nolan said. I managed to get a cab in no time and we slid into the seat. “So,” Nolan said after a few minutes, “what about that poetry assignment Lohan gave us?”

“It won’t be too bad for me; I’m pretty good with words,” I explained. He smiled at me.

“Well then don’t be surprised if I give you a call this weekend.” Nolan and I had been talking a lot in the past week and we had talked on the phone 2 or 3 times, causing Justin to ask numerous questions, but that’s another story.

“I’ve got the time if you’ve go the minutes,” I said. We talked about the school paper and about the lacrosse preseason for the rest of the ride. When we pulled up to the warehouse, I felt the same familiar pain in my gut that I felt every time I had to leave Nolan. “Well, this is me. I guess you should get back to your car and everything.”

“Yeah I guess so.” I was about to get out of the cab when his hand stopped me. “What are you doing tonight? I know it’s sorta last minute and everything but I was kinda hoping that maybe I could take you out?” I beamed.

“I’d love to go out with you tonight.”

“Great, that’s great.” I took out a piece of paper and scribbled the address.

“Just in case you forget how to get here. It’s the top floor.”

“I’ll pick you up at…6:30?”

“Sounds lovely,” I said, still beaming as I climbed out of the cab and went inside.

So this is about the time you came in. I was on the couch when suddenly it hit me that I had to go get ready. So I ran to the bathroom to take a shower. I only had an hour and half before Nolan would be here.

An hour later I was in the bathroom finishing up putting on my make-up when I heard the loft door open and shut.

“Hey Bri!” I yelled as I put the last touch on my make-up. I slipped on a pair of black Versace heels that Brian had bought me and buckled the strap around my ankle. I had chosen to wear a black Versace slip dress with cream lace trimming the entire dress and lace creating an empire waist and making an X across the chest. God, Brian was turning me into such a label queen. I walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. “You’ll never guess what…” I trailed off, watching Brian pace back and forth in front of the couch. I knew something was wrong; Brian never paced unless he was nervous or angry. Not knowing which it was, I decided to tread lightly. “Brian, is something the matter?” He stopped only long enough to light a cigarette.

“I met with some clients today,” Brian started. I was confused as to why this would upset him. I took a seat on the couch and crossed my legs.

“Okay.”

“And there was this one guy and he was really hot. He had green eyes and green eyes usually get me going. I mean, I love Justin’s blue eyes, but green-eyed guys were always my type before I met him.” Why was he telling me all this? Why was he so upset about a lousy one-time trick? But before I could say anything, Brian continued with his ramble. “My gaydar went off right away and I knew I could have this guy. So when we got out of the meeting I signaled for him to meet me in the bathroom. Within seconds I had him pressed up against the tile wall more than willing to give him all he ever wanted.” I just nodded, knowing Brian didn’t need me to say anything right now. He continued. “And then I realized I didn’t want to, because he wasn’t Justin.” That’s the moment it all clicked for me. Brian was afraid. More than afraid, he was terrified of how he felt for Justin.

“Let me just see if I have this: you met a client, who was gay, and after a meeting with him you met him in the bathroom to fuck but then you realized that you didn’t want to fuck him, because he wasn’t Justin?” Brian nodded and continued to pace. “I see. And why do you think you felt that way?”

“I know why I felt that way.”

“Well what was it?” When Brian didn’t answer I decided to draw the conclusion for him. “You love Justin. And you don’t want to hurt him anymore. You’re finally growing up.”

“But I’ve felt that way about Justin for a long time,” he admitted. “It’s never affected my tricking before. If anything it usually just makes me want to trick even more.” I nodded. From what I knew this was true. Then I had a thought.

“Maybe it’s me,” I suggested, knowing I was the only factor in Brian’s life that had changed. It looked as if I’d piqued Brian’s interest, so I continued. “I know that you have a son and everything, but you’ve never had someone who you didn’t want to fuck that you had to take care of before. Maybe adopting me and taking care of me has changed the way you think about tricking.” Brian took this in and finally stopped pacing.

“What do I do?” He asked, and I almost laughed. I’d never seen Brian this emotional before and it was a little funny.

“Well, maybe, since you are finally becoming a grown-up, it would pay to finally tell Justin how you feel.”

“I don’t know if I can…” Brian started.

“Sure you can. I know you can.” Brian stubbed out his cigarette in an ashtray. Suddenly it looked as if he’d gotten an idea.

“You, you pretend to be Justin,” he said.

“Brian, don’t be absurd,” I said, waving his comment off.

“No, really. Stand here and pretend to be him,” Brian said, pulling me to my feet. I sighed.

“Oh fine. I’m Justin. What do you want to tell me?” Brian put his hands on his hips, then crossed his arms over his chest.

“I want to tell you that I…I…” Brian stumbled over the words, not able to get them out.

“Oh come on Brian! I’m not *really* Justin!” I said, exasperated.

“I wanted to tell you that,” Brian said before his voice dipped down to a whisper, “I love you.”

“‘I love you’ who?”

“I love you, Justin.” I smiled a knowing smile.

“Shout it.”

“What?”

“Shout it I said!”

“But how is that going to…”

“Just fucking do it!” I yelled.

“I love you, Justin!” He screamed to the top of his lungs. I smiled wider. “Now why did you want me to do that?” I pointed over his right shoulder at the door. Brian turned around slowly to find Justin standing shocked in the doorway. Just then the buzzer to the front door went off and I grabbed my purse.

“If you two will excuse me, I’ve got a date,” I said, stepping out of the door and closing it behind me. I knew there would be a long conversation ahead of those two, and I was glad to get out of the house. I smiled to myself as I met Nolan at the front door, knowing that this would only be one of many cooky things that would happen to me while I lived with these two.


	3. The Jocelyn Chronicles

“You look amazing tonight,” Nolan says. I’m still smiling, and I suppose he thinks I’m smiling just for him. When in all honesty I’m smiling half for him and half for Brian and Justin, because I’m so happy that Brian is finally growing up, and that Justin is finally hearing the words he wants. But when Nolan speaks, I’m brought into the present moment, and once again the smile is just for him.

“Thanks,” I gush, knowing I look fabulous. Then suddenly I realize I’m freezing my bolicks off because I left my coat inside in my hurry to leave my friends alone. Smooth Chanders, real smooth. I start to shiver. “Shit, I forgot my coat. There were a lot of…things happening inside.”

“I understand. Don’t worry; I’ve got an extra in the car,” Nolan said, ushering me to his bright red Gremlin; a car that even the cave people would be ashamed to drive. But at least he’s got wheels, so I don’t complain.

Well, I won’t bore all you queers and fag hags with my HETERO date. There was a lot of food, dancing and flirting, and even a little bit of kissing. Suffice it to say it was a fabulous evening.

After Nolan dropped me off at the loft (and gave me a final good-bye kiss—oh God, I’m still gushing!) I punched in the code for the loft and headed upstairs. It was 12:30, so I figured that the King and Queen would be all finished with their extra curricular activities. I was mostly right, so I went in and got myself a bottle of water before walking over to my bed. Brian had gotten it for me the same day he got the papers signed and took me out to the Diner and Babylon. I flopped down onto the bed. Suddenly I remember that I was still wearing Nolan’s coat. I took it off and hugged it close to me.

Before I knew it, I heard giggling coming from Brian and Justin’s room and then Justin came running out of the room and jumped onto my bed, tackling me.

“Um, hello?” I said, startled.

“Thank you soooo much! This has been the greatest day of my life!” He said, still not moving from on top of me.

“That’s great Jus. Glad I could be of assistance.” Still no movement. “Sweetheart; I love you, but you’re cutting off my air supply,” I said finally. Justin laughed and rolled onto his side, and I copied. “So I trust that you had a night good then?”

“It was fucking AMAZING Joce! 3 years of never hearing the words ‘I love you’ from Brian’s lips and now all of a sudden it seems like he can’t STOP saying it! How on Earth did you get him to do it?”

“It was simple. Once he said it, I knew that it wasn’t a matter of *could* he say it, but *would* he say it. And then you showed up at the door, and luckily you were quiet and I got this idea. I thought that if he could say it to you without saying it *to* you that it would help him get over the hump, show him that the apocalypse wouldn’t occur if he told you how he felt.”

“You’re fucking brilliant, you know that? You should be a shrink when you get older.” I laughed. “So tell me; how was your date?” I flipped on my back, trying hard to conceal the fact that my smile had increased 10 fold. He noticed. “You went out with that Nolan guy, didn’t you? The one that calls here 3 times a week?”

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“Oh my God! So how was it; everything I’m sure you dreamed of?”

“More than that. God Justin he’s amazing! He took me out to dinner and dancing. We couldn’t even wait till the end of the night to start kissing! I mean, we didn’t make out or anything, but it was so much fun.”

“That’s so sweet.” Just then Brian swooped out of the bedroom and plunked himself down onto the end of my bed.

“So, did you have a good time on your happy hetero outing?” He asked.

“Yeah, Pop,” I said. I’d gotten into the habit of calling him Pop after he said that I was the hetero daughter that he thought he’d never have.

“Well that’s marvelous. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve come to reclaim my young bride,” Brian said as he scooped a now giggling Justin into his arms before flinging him over his shoulder potato sack style. “Now for running away I’m going to have to give you a spanking.”

“You promise?” Justin said through his giggles. Brian grinned. Then he mouthed ‘thank you’ to me before retreating back to the bedroom. I smiled to myself, satisfied that I’d done something right for the two most important men in my life. I decided to give Daphne a quick call before going to bed. I got the phone and punched in her cell number, knowing that the dorm phone curfew was 11:30.

“Hello?” She answered, not even sounding tired.

“Hey Daph; it’s Joce,” I said.

“Hey Joce, what’s up?” She asked.

“I just had to call you and tell you what all happened tonight.” I went on to tell her about my date and about Brian’s admission to Justin (and himself).

“Wow, sounds like an eventful evening,” she said after I was finished. “I should probably get going, but do you wanna do breakfast tomorrow?”

“Sure, what time?”

“10ish? Bring Justin if he’s available.”

“Will do. See ya tomorrow, Cos.” I hung up the phone and got undressed before slipping under the covers of my bed. I thought about the previous week and I couldn’t believe how happy I was. I never knew that I was allowed to be that happy. I thought for sure I did something horrible in a past life to deserve all the bullshit I was dealt in this one. But now I was kinda thinking that God was just testing me to see how strong I was, and now I was getting my reward. My last thought before slipping into a deep restful sleep was a wish that I could be 17 forever so I’d never have to leave this home I’d grown to love in such a short time.


	4. The Jocelyn Chronicles

It had been 3 weeks since I’d officially moved into the loft. Brian hired contractors to actually build me a room, so I could have some privacy. I was doing well in school. I owned more designer clothes than I could imagine. I had an incredibly hot boyfriend. Life was great. No, it was more than great; it was fabulous. So why did what happened have to happen?

I was cuddling with Nolan on the couch, sitting on his lap with my arms wrapped around his neck and his arms around my waist. We’d decided to stay in since Brian and Justin had gone over to Justin’s mom’s house for dinner (oh my God, I laughed for hours after hearing where they were going! Brian had become so fucking domestic in the last month). We were watching—and making fun of—some bad horror movie on HBO.

“Look at her, look,” Nolan said through his hysterical laughing. Then he said, in a mocking high-pitched female voice, “Oh look, I think I’ll go looking for the killer in the dark forest all by myself!”

“Oh,” I said, laughing just as hard, “and I think I have to get naked first for no reason at all!” Our laughing subsided a little and Nolan looked at me.

“I love hanging out with you. You’re so much fun to be with,” he said pushing a kiss to my shoulder. My skin tingled from the feather light touch and I thanked God that I decided to wear the black spaghetti strap top with my new Gucci (of course) jeans instead of the long sleeved shirt. I smiled as he locked eyes with me.

“You’re fun to hang out with too. I’ve never had this much fun with a straight guy in my whole life,” I said. He laughed and pulled my lips into a kiss. We had just started to make out when there was a knock at the door. “Shit,” I said, pulling away and looking distastefully towards the door. “I should probably get that; it might be Michael or something.” I reluctantly got up and went to the door and slid it open. The person I saw on the other side left me with no words.

“Hello Jocelyn,” my mother said. “May I come in?” I couldn’t speak, so I simply nodded. She stepped inside the loft and looked around. “So this is where you live, huh? It’s pretty nice; Mr. Kinney must make a lot of money.

“Mom what are you doing here?” I said once I finally found my words. She looked at me and then at Nolan. I shook my head. “God where are my manners? Mom this is Nolan, my boyfriend. Nolan, this is my mother, Joyce.” They shook hands. “Nolan, could you go out to your can and get my coat? I think I may have left it in there.” Nolan got the hint and got up.

“Yeah sure. Nice to meet you Mrs. Chanders,” he said. Then he left, more than a little confused (I hadn’t explained my story to him yet). I went into the kitchen and popped two Xanex before coming to stand in front of my mother again. I repeated my question.

“Mom, why’d you come here?” She sat down on the couch and I turned around but remained standing.

“I wanted to see you, see how you’re doing,” she said, almost sounding hurt that I’d even asked.

“I’m fine mom, I’m doing fine. Brian’s taking good care of me,” I said simply, wondering if she’d take this as her cue to leave. She didn’t.

“There’s something I really need to tell you,” she said, concern in her voice. I sighed and gave in.

“Fine,” I said, throwing my arms in the air. I moved in to the kitchen. “You want some tea or something?”

“Tea would be great, dear.” I put on the water and retrieved the tea bags from the cupboard. Once the water finished boiling I prepared two cups of tea and brought them over to the couch and sat next to my mother.

“So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?” I said, slowly sipping my tea. I was nice and calm now, the Xanex having taken affect. My mother, however, looked more nervous than I’d ever seen her, her hands shaking as she brought the tea up to her lips. After a moment of deafening silence, she finally spoke.

“Your father has started drinking…heavily and he’s become abusive.” I heard what my mother was saying, but it wasn’t sinking in. My father was abusive?

“Abusive? How so?”

“He…hits me,” she said quietly, staring into her tea and trying desperately to maintain her composure. I couldn’t wrap my brain around it. My father was hitting my mother? “He didn’t get that promotion he was up for at work, and ever since then he’s been very angry.” Suddenly it hit me, and I was angry.

“He’s hitting you? Who the fuck does he think he is? Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” I shouted questions as they came to my head. 

“I didn’t want to disturb your new life. I mean, it was obvious how much you wanted to get away from us.” I quieted down and looked at her. She’d never said a bad word to me, but she never stopped my father from saying what he did. I wondered what she “did” to get hit by my father? Her voice broke into my thoughts. “But finally I had to come here because it’s gotten much more serious.” I was confused. How could it get any more serious than physical abuse? She pressed on. “Somehow he got it in his head that Mr. Kinney, your Brian, had something to do with his not getting the promotion, and he’s looking for Brian.” The tone in her voice was ominous and I was almost afraid to ask my next question.

“What do you think he’s capable of?” A silent tear slipped from her eye and that was all the answer I needed. “Oh my God, oh my God…Brian…he’s in danger and it’s all my fault.” I went back to the kitchen and took two more Xanex. “I don’t…I don’t know what to do…Brian, I should call Brian.” I got the phone. “Does he know where Brian works?”

“Not yet, but I know he can find out.” I nodded and punched in the number for Genosphere. As it rang I looked at my mother.

“Thank you for coming here. You have to get away from Dad, you have to…” Cynthia picked up on the other end.

“Genosphere, Brian Kinney’s office,” she said.

“Cynthia, it’s Jocelyn. I need to talk to Brian; it’s an emergency,” I said. A few minutes later Brian picked up.

“What is it?” He said, the same kind of concern in his voice that my mother had possessed earlier.

“My mother’s here. She just told me that my dad’s been hitting her and that he’s looking for you.”

“Looking for me, why?”

“He was up for a promotion at work and he didn’t get it and he thinks you had something to do with it.”

“What? That’s insane; I don’t even know where he works!”

“I didn’t say that he was thinking rationally. Look, you have to be careful; don’t accept calls from people you don’t know and that are not clients, tell Cynthia to let the guards know to look out for a man that looks like my father. I’ll come with Nolan to pick you up from work. Give Cyn your keys and ask her to bring the jeep home. Bri, I don’t wanna take any chances of you getting hurt or…worse. I’ll be there in an hour with Nolan.”

“Alright, alright. Don’t worry; I’ll be fine.” I hung up the phone and went into Brian and Justin’s room to get a sweater. I came out, slipped on a pair of suede slip-ons and turned to my mother while I got my coat.

“Will you come with me? You know, and then you could tell Brian and I everything you know. And maybe we could figure out someplace safe for you to stay,” I said as I pulled my coat on.

“Sure dear, of course I’ll come with you. I only just hope,” she said, taking my hand, “that you can forgive me for all the awful things I let your father say to you.” I looked at her and pulled her into an embrace.

“I forgive you mom. Now let’s go get Brian.” With that I set the security code, locked the door and me and my mother went down to Nolan’s Gremlin. I let my mother into the back seat and slid into the front. “Nolan, we have to go get Brian. I’ll explain everything on the way.” Nolan nodded and without a word started the car and we were off to Genosphere.

*~*~*

When we got to Genosphere Brian was waiting out front with Cynthia. He saw us and the two approached the vehicle. Nolan got out of the car to let Brian in the back seat and I rolled down the window to talk to Cynthia.

“Thanks for doing all this Cyn,” I said.

“Don’t worry; Brian told me the whole story. You just make sure my boss doesn’t do anything stupid,” Cynthia answered almost humorously.

“I will. Be careful driving around in Brian’s car Cyn. He might think you’re Brian and try to do something crazy.”

“Don’t worry I’ll be leaving during rush hour traffic; he won’t be able to do anything. I nodded and she stepped away from the car. I rolled up the window and we started back to Pittsburgh. Brian turned to my mother.

“Mrs. Chanders, thank you for telling Jocelyn what you did,” he said.

“It’s the very least I could do. I know it’s late in the game, but I figured I should start being a good mum before it was too late,” she said. Then I guess she decided to get right down to it. “Brian, I fear that you, Jocelyn, and Justin are in grave danger.”

“How’d you find out about Justin?” Brian asked.

“Jocelyn told me how she knew you on the way over here. I always liked Justin, but I was too weak to stop Mr. Chanders at the time he sent Jocelyn away. Anyway, my husband is crazy and I believe that he’d do anything to get revenge on you.”

“This is insane. I didn’t know where he worked and I certainly didn’t fucking know he was up for a promotion that he didn’t get.”

“Like Jocelyn told you he’s not rational. Listen, I managed to get these before I left.” She pulled some papers out of her bag and handed them to Brian. “It’s a list of things he’s found out about you.”

“Holy shit,” Brian breathed as he stared down at the papers.

“He knows where you used to work; he knows where Justin attends college. He’s even found out where you sent Jocelyn to school. So it’s only a matter of time before he finds out your current place of business and where you live.” Brian sat speechless as he looked over the list. I spoke from the front seat.

“I’ve come up with a plan. The first thing we have to do is rent a car. We can’t be driving around in the jeep. Second we all have to go where he won’t look to find us. You, me and Justin will go stay at a hotel just outside of town and mom will go stay with Debbie. I’ve already called Debbie and she says it’s okay. After the dust settles we’ll file for a restraining order. How does that sound?”

“Sounds as if you’ve been really busy. Did you call Justin?”

“Yeah, he knows about everything. In fact he’s probably at the loft now packing us up. He called and booked us a reservation at the hotel. Nolan’s going to drive us there right after he drops off mom at Debbie’s.” He nodded and rested back on the seat a little.

“This is totally going to fuck with my job,” he said.

“Just thank God it’s Friday,” said with a weak smile. We drove the rest of the way to the loft in silence.


	5. The Jocelyn Chronicles

The first weekend at the hotel was a rough one. Justin, Brian and I had to stay in the hotel suite the whole time, not even leaving for food. We had to, instead, have the food brought to us by room service. No one was allowed to see us. No one could come in, no one could go out. No phone calls even. I know that towards the end of Sunday Brian was feeling a little stir-crazy; he didn’t feel like this kind of lock down as necessary. But I didn’t want to take any chance of him or Justin getting hurt.

But it was now 6:30 on Monday morning, and Brian and Justin were busy trying to get ready to go back into Pittsburgh to try their best to resume life as usual.

“Hurry up Justin; our cab will be here any minute,” Brian called. He turned to look at me. “I still don’t understand why Nolan is coming to pick you up and we’re taking a cab.” I stood up, my pajama pants hanging lazily about my hips.

“Because,” I said, setting down my newspaper and pretending to straighten his tie, “first of all, it’s not safe for us to leave all at one time. I don’t even like the idea of you and Justin leaving at the same time. But he’s got class and you’ve got to get to work. Anyways you’re going to meet Cyn at the loft and you and Justin will go your separate ways. Second of all, I haven’t got to leave for school for another forty-five minutes and I don’t intend on leaving a minute sooner.” Brian smiled at me and Justin finally emerged from the bedroom.

“Alright; ready to go,” he said as he grabbed his bag and slung it across his chest. He walked over to me and bent down and pushed a kiss to my cheek. “Stay safe, okay?”

“Absolutely. You too,” I replied. Brian gave me a kiss too before both men disappeared out into the hallway. I sighed and looked through my bag for something decent to wear. Prada, Gucci, Guess…Ah. Finally I came across a red suede Louis Vitton mini. This skirt with my long black hooded sweater with the slits on the side and the toggles and my black over the knee boots…it would have to do. I showered and changed quickly, leaving time for breakfast before I left.

At exactly 7:15 I went down to meet Nolan at the front of the hotel. I immediately saw his red Gremlin and walked over. I slid into the passenger seat and smiled weakly at him.

“Hi,” I said. I was not able to think of anything clever.

“Hi,” he said back. We hadn’t really discussed what I’d told him yet, and it was awkward now, what with the two day absence. Finally I turned to him.

“Do you want to talk about what I told you on Friday?” I said. He was quiet for a few moments before speaking.

“Can you just clear up some things for me?”

“Of course.” He directed his gaze back towards the road.

“So Brian…who is he in relation to you?”

“He’s a friend. And now he’s my guardian.”

“So he’s sorta like your dad?”

“Sort of.”

“And you knew Justin when you were little?”

“Yeah he was friends with my cousin and I.”

“And you ran away from boarding school in Vermont?”

“Yep.”

“How?” I smiled at that, remembering the bittersweet time in my life.

“I left late at night, not bothering to pack anything. I didn’t even change out of my school uniform. I didn’t even have a coat. I managed to make it to the highway on pure adrenaline, but by the time I went about a half mile or so, I couldn’t walk anymore because I was shaking so violently. Luckily a nice man stopped and gave me a lift as far as New York and he gave me a coat. That’s when I called my cousin, Daphne and got the idea to stay with Justin. I didn’t know about Brian at the time. It took me 2 more days of hitch-hiking before I made it to the Pitts. Brian took me in with a little persuasion from Justin, helped me to liberate myself from my parents and sent me to school. And then I met you on the bus. You know everything after that.” Nolan sat silently and took all this in.

“Are you happier now with Brian and Justin than you were before?” I looked at him.

“If you’d of known me 2 months ago, you wouldn’t recognize me now, because I never smiled as much back then,” I answered. He nodded and smiled for the first time since we left the hotel.

“I’m glad that you’re happy now,” he said. We continued the rest of the way to Sumset in a comfortable silence.

*~*~*

I waited a block away from school for a cab. I had to get to PIFA to meet Justin and then we had to go to Genosphere to pick up Brian. Nolan had showed me a very good time in the supply closet last period and I was in a good mood despite my current situation. I saw a cab coming and just as I started to hail it I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Nolan I told you in a couple of days we could…” I said as I turned around. My face fell. Instead of turning around to look into the intense green eyes of my boyfriend I saw the angry brown eyes of my father. “Dad?”

“Come with me,” he said, trying to pull me away from the curb. I refused to move, and quite frankly I don’t think I could have even if I’d wanted to.

“No,” I said simply, pulling away from him. He looked at me, anger burning behind his eyes. I straightened up, trying not to let my fear show.

“Don’t make me ask again,” he said as he grabbed my arm and resumed pulling. I pulled away once more.

“Dad I said no! I won’t go anywhere with you ever! Ever!” I was shouting, trying to cause a scene, get someone’s attention. He grabbed for my arm again. “Don’t put your hands on me! Let go!”

“Be quiet; just come with me.” He was pleading now.

“NO!” I shrieked as loudly as humanly possible. A few people slowed down and started to look at us. I looked around and suddenly I saw a face I knew.

“Mrs. Taylor!” I yelled.

“Jocelyn, I thought it was you,” she said as I ran towards her. She knew about everything that was going on with my dad and cleverly and inconspicuously shielded me from him by taking no more than a fraction of a step to the left, putting her body in between my father and I. There was no way you could have known what she was doing unless you were one of the three of us. “Is everything alright here?” She asked, her tone warning. My father raised his hands and backed away before taking off and running down the street until he was no longer in sight. Mrs. Taylor looked to me. “Are you alright honey?” She asked. I nodded. “Okay, let’s go to my car and you can tell me where you need to go.” She showed me to her car and I told her we needed to pick up Justin and then Brian.

“You don’t have to come with us to pick up Brian if you don’t want to; it’s awfully far,” I said, trying to be polite. Mrs. Taylor shook her head.

“I don’t mind. I don’t feel comfortable just sending you and Justin off like that.” I nodded and we headed over to PIFA to pick up Justin.

*~*~*

An hour later the four of us pulled up to the hotel. Justin, Brian and I started walking towards the front door when Mrs. Taylor stopped Brian.

“Brian, can I just talk to you for a moment?” She said as she stepped out of her car and came around to the other side.

“Sure Jen,” he said, retracing his steps back to the car. Justin and I looked on from behind the glass of the lobby doors as they talked. Their conversation was brief. After a moment Mrs. Taylor placed her hands on Brian’s face. She shook her head and said something to Brian and I swear I saw a shimmer of a tear in his eye which he held back only with shear will and years of practice. Then they hugged and Mrs. Taylor got back into her car and drove away. Of course as soon as Brian got inside Justin could hardly contain himself, although I know he tried.

“So, that was interesting,” Justin said.

“Yeah I guess,” Brian said nonchalantly. He punched the button for the elevator. Justin tried again.

“Boy would I have loved to be a fly on the wall for that conversation,” Justin said. Brian only nodded as we stepped in to the elevator. At this point I could tell Justin was getting frustrated that his fish wasn’t biting. I decided to put him out of his misery.

“What did Mrs. Taylor say to you?” I said as I leaned against the side of the elevator. Brian pushed the button for our floor and we began our ascent. He leaned against the back elevator wall and stared straight ahead.

“She said,” he started finally, “that she considered me to be part of her family.” He turned to Justin. “Part of your family. And that if I—if we—ever needed anything, she was there for us.” Justin looked on in amazement, unable to speak.

“Well what did you say to that?” I said, now fully interested in the conversation as well.

“I asked her why now after…after the Prom and everything and how it was all my fault,” Brian said quietly. Justin’s face fell slightly at the memory of what happened after Prom and the fact that Brian still blamed himself for it, although I knew from talking to him that he still didn’t remember any of the good things that happened. Before Justin could say anything Brian continued. “She told me that she was sorry that she ever said anything like that, that she knew it wasn’t my fault and she should have never helped to make me feel like it was. She said she wanted to start over where I was concerned. And that was about it.” I smiled. Justin silently took Brian’s hand. No words were needed.

*~*~*

The next day after school I took a cab over to Debbie’s to check on my mother. When I got there my mother was in hysterics and Debbie was trying her best to comfort her.

“Mom, what’s the matter?” I asked as I rushed to my mother’s side. She tried to speak but no words would come out. I looked to Debbie.

“Your dad skipped town, Doll Baby,” she said gently. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard.

“What?” I asked, the disbelief evident in my voice.

“Left this morning apparently. Found out where she was staying somehow and had these sent to the house along with this note.” Debbie handed me a stack of papers which I immediately recognized as divorce papers and the note my father had sent.

**Joyce. I know you have gone warn our daughter about my plans. I tried to talk to her the other day to try to convince her to come home but she wanted no part of it. It was then that I realized that neither of you cares about me and it would be best if I bowed out of the picture all together. Here are the divorce papers, sign them and then hand them over to our lawyer. I’ve had my half of our money transferred to another account and since I can’t legally obtain the rest I’ve had the account frozen. Let’s see how easy it is to start over again. Joe**

I dropped the note onto the table. How…why? What was my mother going to do? My father had left her with nothing. And yet I was torn between feeling sorry for my mother and happy for myself. My father was gone. Brian, Justin and I could go back to life as usual. But my mother…

“Darling,” my mother said, having calmed down enough to speak, “I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m going to go stay with your aunt and uncle until I can get back on my feet. I was just…I was caught off guard by your father’s leave. But don’t you worry about a thing darling. I’m happy that you can finally get back to your life.” I half smiled took my mother’s hand. Only now did I realize just how much she wanted to make up for the last 17 years.

“You know that I want you to be a part of my life, right?” I said. She smiled through her tears.

“I hoped.” I stayed for a few more minutes, letting my mother explain all her plans before calling Brian and Justin and telling them to come home.


	6. The Jocelyn Chronicles

It had been months since we’d moved back into loft. After a few watchful weeks we let our guards slack a little and started to enjoy life as usual. It was the next Fall now and Nolan and I were not yet used to the new Fall pace, having gotten used to the slow progression of the summer. We’d been humping non-stop for the past hour or so, blocking out the world around us. Finally I collapsed into Nolan’s arms and we struggled to catch our breath.

“You need your inhaler?” He asked, the smile evident in his voice. I rolled my eyes at his macho assumption that he was so fucking awesome in bed that he literally took my breath away, even though it was true.

“No I’ll be fine,” I said. We started to drift off to sleep and then there was a knock at my door. Sighing I extracted myself from Nolan’s arms and pulled on my pajama shorts and a tee shirt. Exasperated, I flung open the door to find Justin. “Yes?” I said. I could hear Nolan nervously fumbling for his boxers in the background. It amused me that he was embarrassed to be naked in front of Justin, even though he was under the covers. He was daft if he thought that Justin would a) hit on a straight guy and b) touch any guy besides Brian. Justin smiled and tried to make Nolan feel less awkward by pretending to ignore him.

“I wanted to ask you to help me and Daph with something,” he said. “It’s for mine and Brian’s anniversary.” I nodded and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind me so that Nolan could change in peace.

“What is it that I can do?” Justin and I sat on the couch. Justin took a deep breath.

“I’ve thought about this a lot, and I decided that I want try again to remember what happened on Prom night. I mean, you know, the good stuff, like the dance.” My eyes widened.

“Are you sure?” I said. Justin nodded.

“I want to remember and then recreate the night for Brian—with an alternate ending of course.”

“Well what do you want me to do?”

“Well you know you’re good with psychiatry stuff and I thought maybe you could think of a way to unlock the memories or whatever.” I gave him an uncertain look. “Please? You’re cheaper than a real shrink and I trust you more.”

“That’s a lot of pressure,” I said.

“I just want you to give it a try. If it doesn’t work, then I’ll just ask Daphne to help me set everything up and I’ll have another prom. I just think it would mean so much to Brian if I could remember. It would mean a lot to me too.” Well what could I say to that? Certainly not ‘no’. So I sighed.

“Fine; I’ll give it a shot,” I said. Justin’s eyes lit up and he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

“Thank you. This means so much to me. I’ll call Daphne and have her come over now.” I nodded. Justin went to get the phone and Nolan came out of the bedroom.

“So I guess it’s time for me to go?” He asked. I nodded and he leaned down and kissed me. “Don’t stay up too late. Round two is going to take a lot of energy.” I smiled to myself as Nolan let himself out.

*~*~*

An hour later Daphne was at the loft. I had had some time to do some thinking to figure out how I was going to go about unlocking Justin’s memories. I had studied a little psychiatry and knew that I had to find a trigger, a key. By the time Daphne got there I knew how I wanted to go about triggering Justin’s memories.

“Lay down on the couch,” I said to him. He did so. “Make yourself comfortable.” I waited while Justin adjusted himself on the couch. “Alright Justin I’ve decided to try hypnosis to unlock your brain. I’m going to see if your subconscious remembers, and hopefully by triggering the memory there you’ll remember completely. Daph,” I said, looking to my cousin, “I’m going to need you to confirm some what he says and help me ask questions to help him to remember.” Daph nodded. “Alright Justin; close your eyes. Now I want you to pretend that you’re going to sleep, but don’t let go of my voice.” He closed his eyes. I kept talking quietly to him, saying soothing things. Within minutes Justin was under. “Justin?” I asked. 

“Mmmm,” he murmured in response.

“Justin I’m going to ask you a few questions.”

“Mmmm.” Another murmur.

“Justin do you remember having a dance with Brian at your Senior Prom?” A small smile crept across Justin’s face and for a moment I thought he wasn’t really under. But his response proved otherwise.

“Yes. Twirling,” he said. I looked to Daphne.

“Brian twirled him across the dance floor,” she explained. I nodded and looked back at Justin.

“Do you remember anything else?” I asked.

“Mmmm…dip,” he said.

“Brian dipped him,” Daphne said. Good we were getting somewhere. At least he seemed to be remembering.

“Justin, can you remember dancing?” I asked, wishing to try and get a more direct answer from him.

“Yes, dancing. Daphne…Jacket,” he said.

“He threw me his jacket,” Daphne said. “Can I ask him something? I think it might really help.” I nodded and Daphne proceeded. “Justin, do you remember the kiss?” The smile got bigger.

“In front of everybody,” Justin said. Good, his sentences were finally coherent. I opened my mouth to ask another question but Justin started talking again. “We left after that. Brian wanted us to be alone. But I told him I had to be a proper gentleman and take Daphne home first, so I just walked him to his car. He said to me…” Justin stopped and his eyes fluttered open. At first my heart sank, thinking he’d just somehow been jarred awake, but he continued speaking. “He said to me that the night was…ridiculously romantic, but it was endearing, not an insult. Then he leaned in to kiss me and he hesitated for a second, as if asking my permission. Then I left to go back to take Daphne home and I heard Brian call my name and…I think we all know what happened after that.” Daphne and I sat dumbstruck. He remembered. He remembered everything. Daphne snapped out of it first and lunged at Justin.

“You remember! You finally remember!” She yelled. Justin hugged Daphne back.

“It’s so weird,” Justin said almost breathlessly, “I feel like I’ve always remembered, like I don’t feel like I ever forgot.”

“That’s because you have always remembered, you just needed to be reminded,” I said, finally able to speak. Justin let go of Daphne and hugged me.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. This means the world to me. And it’ll mean a lot to Brian too.” I smiled.

“Well, I’d best be getting to my homework. Brian will be home any minute so try to get a hold of yourself,” I said. Justin nodded and I left him and Daphne to remember together and to plan the big anniversary event.


	7. The Jocelyn Chronicles

After I did my homework it was about 9:45 and I was ass tired. Brian had come home a while ago and I heard him and Justin fucking for about an hour or so. God, and I thought Nolan and I were horny. Just after I turned off the light and was about to go to sleep there was a knock at the door. I groaned and flicked on the light.

“Come in,” I said, irritated. The door opened and Brian came in and stood in the doorway. He put his hands in his pockets and looked at me.

“I wanted to ask you a favor. Were you about to go to sleep?” He said, visibly uncomfortable. I figured this must be important.

“No it’s alright,” I lied. “Come here,” I said as I lifted up the covers. Brian walked over and slipped into bed with me and I pulled the covers over him. “What do you need?” He leaned against the head board and put his hands on his stomach and pretended to be focused on picking his nails of non existent filth.

“I was thinking that I wanted to do something nice for Justin…Something big,” he said after several moments of silence.

“Big?” I asked while trying to hold back a yawn.

“Yeah; something…meaningful. I figured…I figured, you know, since I grew up and decided I was able to tell Justin how I feel about him, that maybe I should get him something to remind him of it,” he said quietly. I nodded, showing that I had registered what he was saying.

“Well what were you thinking?” He picked up my lighter off the bedside table and started playing with it, lighting and extinguishing the flame.

“I was thinking that maybe I could…God, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I was thinking maybe I could get him a commitment ring?” My jaw dropped slightly. Had I just heard him correctly? Did he just say that he wanted to get Justin a commitment ring? I guess I looked as astonished as I felt because he said, “you think it’s stupid. I knew it was a bad idea.” I quickly composed myself and touched his arm.

“No, I don’t think it’s stupid at all. I think it’s very lovely.”

“Really?” He said, slightly unbelievingly. I smiled and nodded. He let out a relieved sounding sigh. “Then I was hoping that you could tell me where’s a good place to go and come with me to pick it out. I don’t wanna get him some piece of shit ring that’s gonna turn his finger green and fall apart in a week.” I started to think. Where’s the best place to go to get high quality jewelry…Ah. Then I thought of it.

“W.R Chance, Inc. It’s got the best selection and the highest quality jewelry. I remember that one of my female teachers was raving about it and she even took me to see the store.”

“Where’s that?” I smiled coyly. Lemme think…it was Friday…Yep, tomorrow would be the day.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” I asked.

“Well I was going to try and get some work done and…” I cut him off.

“Clear your schedule; we’re going to Maryland.” I patted him on the shoulder and laid down and turned on my side before he could protest. I heard him sigh heavily before he got up, turned off the light and left. Well, I thought, I guess Nolan will just have to wait till tomorrow night. 

*~*~*

Brian and I left for Maryland at about 9:30 after first obtaining directions on Mapquest. Justin had an early morning class and a shift at the diner immediately after that, so we figured we had until at least 6 or 7 that night to get home, which was more than enough time. Brian had all the loft calls forwarded to his cell phone in case Justin decided to call. We pulled onto the Pa turn pike when Brian decided to start a conversation.

“So, you and Nolan; it’s pretty serious now, huh?” He asked.

“Yeah; it’s hard to believe that we’ve been seeing each other for almost a year now,” I said. He nodded. Silence settled over us once again, but it wasn’t serene. Then it occurred to me. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?” He made a sound that I think was intended to be a scoff, but came out sounding more like a nervous laugh.

“What would make you say that?” He attempted to sound surprised by my question, but it came out sounding just about as convincing as his ‘scoff’. 

“Oh I don’t know…maybe it’s the fact that you’re trying to make conversation with me about my happy hetero relationship. Or maybe it’s because you’ve been listening to polka music for the last 10 minutes,” I said, pointing to the radio. He’d been flipping through the stations earlier and found a station with a commercial playing and I guess he thought it was one of his normal stations. Wrong. He scrunched up his face when the horrendous music finally registered in his brain.

“What the fuck…” he said, turning the radio off completely. I laughed and looked up at him.

“It’s okay to be nervous, you know. This is a big step for you,” I said. I lit a cigarette and handed it to him. He took it and took a long drag.

“I never thought I’d even *wanna* do anything like this, let alone actually do it. This wasn’t in the plan I had for my life, you know? Justin wasn’t in the plan. But he’s here now anyway and I feel like…I feel like there isn’t really even a plan anymore. And that scares the fucking shit outta me. Because I’ve always had a plan for everything; I’ve always been in control of everything in my life ever since I can remember. But I’m not in control of this. I’m not in control of my feelings.” He was being so honest, so candid, in the way he only is with Justin, Mikey, Lindsey and I. And for a minute I felt kinda raw, which I guess was some sort of empathy pain or something. I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“No one is in control of their heart. The heart loves who it wants to without bias or permission. And you can either try to push that away and make your heart miserable or you can just accept it, embrace it, trust it. Be thankful that your heart is making you feel something amazing that you wouldn’t allow yourself to admit to.” Brian smiled a small but happy smile and we talked about his new job for the rest of the trip. 

*~*~*

We arrived at W.R Chance Inc. around lunchtime. We went inside and we were immediately blinded by the simmering diamonds and gold and silver bands in the jewelry case. I took Brian’s hand and guided him over to a case filled with platinum bands.

“Go with platinum. It’s masculine and, at least to me, it means forever,” I said. Brian inspected the rings. They all looked pretty much the same, but some were bigger than others and some had more karats (or whatever it is that platinum is measured in) than others. Suddenly a small, delicate-looking woman appeared behind the counter.

“Is there something I could help you with?” She asked, smiling. But it wasn’t a fake smile. Okay, so far she wasn’t a twat. Brian pointed to a ring in the case.

“Can I take a closer look at that one?” He asked. The woman took the ring out of the case and placed it on the counter.

“That one’s a Verragio; it’s one of the highest quality rings we have.” Brian studied it and then looked at me, a small smile playing about his mouth. I knew that was the one.

“How much?” The woman looked closer at the ring.

“That one is $1500,” she said. Brian took this in. At first I thought he was gonna say forget it and throw the ring back on the counter and stomp off.

“I’ll take it,” he said instead. The woman looked at me.

“Alright. Well we’ll need to have it fitted.” She looked at my hand. “What are you? About a 6?” I looked at Brian and then back to the woman. Brian spoke up.

“Actually the ring isn’t for her, it’s for my boyfriend,” he said, without faltering. The woman’s smile didn’t waver.

“Well that’s just lovely. How long have you been together?” 

“About three years, one major break up.” I was surprised that Brian was speaking so candidly with this woman.

“Well congratulations. My son and his partner have been together for a few months now, so it’s nice to hear about a couple who’s been together so long.” Yep, we were definitely in a twat-free zone right now. “Could you tell me his ring size?” 

“Well, I’ve never bought him a ring before…but I’m guessing about an 8.” The woman nodded and made a note of the size. Then she looked back a Brian.

“Why don’t I just fit it to that size and if it’s too big or too small you can bring it back and I’ll re-size it for you.”

“Actually, we live in Pittsburgh, so…” The woman nodded.

“Well then you can take it to any local jewelry store and have them re-size it.” The woman placed the ring in a small velvet box while Brian wrote out the check. She came back and smiled again.

“Here you go,” she said as she handed Brian the small bag. Brian took the bag and handed her the check.

“And here you go,” he said. We said our goodbyes and left to go have lunch before heading back to the Pitts.


	8. The Jocelyn Chronicles

“Where the fuck are we going?” Brian asked from the passenger’s seat. We were on our way to the hotel where Justin had set up the big Prom Anniversary surprise. I had been given strict orders by Justin to make sure Brian was blind folded so that it would be a surprise till the very end.

“It’s a surprise,” I said, the smile evident in my voice. I have to tell you that I looked absolutely FABULOUS in my clingy light blue halter Dolce dress with a bit of flow at the bottom (Marie Claire readers, you know the one I mean!) and my Jimmy Choo sandals (both VERY expensive gifts from Brian. He spoils me!). And Brian looked great too in his $2000 black Armani tux without the tie (you know, like the outfit from the prom) and a cream scarf (also strict orders from Justin).

“I hate surprises,” he said in a tone that proved he didn’t hate surprises at all, but did say that he was getting antsy.

“Well too bad; we’re almost there.” We drove a little ways further and I pulled up to the hotel. I got out and opened the passenger door. “Come on sweetheart; we’re here,” I said, pulling him out of the car and throwing the keys to the valet. I guided him to the hall where the Prom Anniversary was being held. Emmett was peeking out the door and when he saw us he ducked back in. Brian and I stopped outside the door to the hall. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” he said. I pushed open the door and we went inside.

“Alright,” I said. I pulled the end of the blindfold and it came sliding off. Brian looked around, bewildered. I’m not quite sure he understood completely at first. The “Faded” started playing and everyone started dancing. I looked around and spotted Justin and Daphne dancing near the center of the dance floor. “Look,” I said, pointing in their direction. Brian shifted his gaze to look at Justin and Daphne. “Go on; I think you know what to do.” Brian nodded, a smile finally settling on his face. He strode over to Justin and Daphne and I followed.

“Hey Daphne; you look hot. I’d fuck you,” he said. Daphne giggled as Brian pushed a kiss to her cheek. “You mind if I cut in?” Daphne shook her head and moved they moved onto the dance floor. Daph and I looked at each other and beamed. Lindsey, Mel, Mikey, and Ben came over to us.

“They really look amazing together,” Ben said.

“Yeah they do. I don’t know what it is about them,” Mel said wistfully. Mikey, Lindsey and I smiled.

“They’re the yin and the yang,” Lindsey said.

“They’re the night and the day,” Mikey said.

“They’re the sun and the moon,” I said. Everyone turned to me.

“Yeah,” Lindsey and Mikey said in unison. The music died and everyone looked at Justin and Brian, who stopped dancing. Justin smiled.

“It’s time for me to give you the rest of your present,” Justin said, taking Brian’s hand.

“As if this isn’t enough,” Brian said sarcastically. Justin smiled brighter. He took Brian’s other hand.

“I was dancing here with Daphne. I didn’t see you come in. I didn’t even know you were here until Daphne pointed you out.” Brian had a look on his face that was a mixture of awe and fascination. Justin continued. “I was so happy that you came. And then,” Justin started pulling Brian to the dance floor and “Save the Last Dance for Me” came floating over the speakers, “we danced.” And then they started dancing. Daphne smiled and leaned over to whisper to me.

“It’s the same dance; this is the same dance. Brian never forgot a thing,” she said. We all watched as Brian and Justin twirled across the floor, and then Brian pulled Justin into his arms. I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty certain he said I love you. I did know that there were tears streaming happily down his face. Just then a small child ran up to me and clung to my leg.

“Jocey, Jocey!” He said. I smiled and picked up the little boy.

“Hello Gussy,” I said.

“Daddy and Jus’n dance,” he said happily, pointing to Brian and Justin. I looked up at the dancing men again.

“Yeah Gus. Don’t they look pretty?”

“Pretty! Daddy loves Jus’n?” He asked. I nodded.

“Yes he does.”

“I love Jus’n too. I go say hi?”

“In a minute Gussy. Not right now.” The boy frowned a little. Not wanting any toddler hysterics from him, I looked around and spotted Emmett. “Hey Gussy; there’s Auntie Em. Why don’t you go say hi?” Gus’s face lit up again as I set him back down on the floor where he scampered away to see Emmett. It was really touching to see how much Gus loved Brian and Justin. I watched him jump into Emmett’s arms and made a wish that life wouldn’t be too hard for him. 

I went to sit at a table and there was Molly. She looked lonely; a little bored. I couldn’t blame her; there was no one there her age and she had no one to talk to. I figured, why the Hell not?

“Hey Mol; having fun?” The girl looked up at me, a little surprised by my sudden presence.

“Yeah I guess. I’m glad that Justin is happy,” she said. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she’d rather be anywhere but here. I smiled.

“You know, I was thinking that maybe you’d like to meet someone interesting; he’s closer to your age than anyone else here.” Her eyes lit up.

“Really?”

“Yeah, just let me find him.” I got up and scoured the room for Hunter’s dirty blonde hair. Finally I saw him leaning against the bar, probably trying to cruise the bar tender or trying to get a drink. I touched his shoulder. He turned around.

“Oh hey Jocelyn. I was just checking out the scenery,” he said, glancing at the bar tender. I rolled my eyes theatrically.

“Forget in Hunter; he’s almost twice your age and besides, he’s married,” I said, pointing to the gold band on the man’s finger. Hunter’s face fell in defeat. I smiled. “Look I know you can’t be having any fun cruising straight bar tenders. Don’t worry about picking up guys; you’re not a hustler anymore, remember? Come on, I want you to meet someone.” I started guiding him through the crowd.

“Who? Will I like them?”

“Justin’s little sister Molly. She’s nice, and she’s incredibly bored and you’re the closest person to her age here.” Hunter rolled his eyes. “Be nice; you might actually find you like her.” We finally arrived at the table where Molly was sitting. I pushed Hunter forward. “Molly, this is my friend Hunter. Hunter, Molly. Now why don’t you two sneak behind the bar and go out to the parking lot and get drunk?” Both Hunter and Molly grinned at that and they walked off towards the bar, talking.

“Well my work here is done,” I said, brushing my hands together. Then I saw Emmett sitting at a table pulling the petals off a flower. “Or maybe not.” I made my way over to Emmett and sat down next to him. “Sweetie, is everything okay?” Emmett looked up at me, startled.

“Yeah honey I’m great. What would make you think otherwise?” He said in a happy tone that was way too fake.

“Well I was just wondering why you’re defacing my center pieces,” I said, pointing to the petaless flower. Emmett smiled weakly.

“I was just looking at Brian and Justin and I couldn’t help but think about Teddy,” he admitted.

“I know you must miss him terribly,” I said. We’d just been to visit Ted in rehab a few days ago and it took me an hour and a half to calm the nelly queen down. I hoped I wouldn’t have to do a repeat job tonight. “Hey, why don’t we dance sweetie?” Emmett’s face lit up immediately. All you had to do was mention dancing to Emmett and you could make him forget almost anything. 

We danced for awhile until Justin came over to us.

“Excuse me Em; would you mind if I stole your dance partner for a minute?” Emmett smiled and moved aside. Justin and I started dancing.

“So, are you having a good time?” I asked. He beamed.

“This is turned out even better than I thought it would. Brian is so happy,” he said. He drifted off into his own thoughts for a moment before turning his attention back to me. “Are you having a good time?” I smiled slightly and remembered the evenings events.

“Yeah I’m having a pretty good time. I’m just wondering when I became in charge of damage control at your party.” A confused and amused look passed over his face. “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that Gus isn’t crying, your sister isn’t bored, Hunter isn’t cruising middle-aged men and Emmett isn’t drowning himself in self-pity. And you guys are happy.” Justin grinned and we continued dancing until I saw Brian get up on the stage. The event I’d be waiting for all night was about to arrive.

“Yo! Can I get everyone’s attention?” Brian said into the mic. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up at him. “Justin; can you come up here?” Justin looked at me and I just smiled. He made his way up onto the stage. “Justin, you know I’ve loved you since the day I laid eyes on you, even though I only recently started telling you that fact. No one thought we would make it.” Brian quickly flicked his eyes over at the family. Then he looked back at Justin. “Fuck, half the time we didn’t think we’d make it. But I think we’ve proven everyone wrong. So, let’s prove the world wrong again.” Brian pulled the box out of his pocket. “Will you promise me forever, if I promise you the stars?” Justin starred wide-eyed at the now open box. He looked at the ring. It was beautiful: Brian had had stars delicately engraved all around the outside of the ring. Justin smiled, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I’ll promise you forever and 10 years, Bri!” He said. They embraced, tears running down both their faces. Everyone clapped. We all knew this was how it was supposed to be.

*~*~*

Hours later the party was winding down and people were starting to leave. I ran to the loby where everyone was staying their goodbyes.

“Let me get a picture of everyone before you go,” I said. Everyone crowed together; Deb, Vic, Mikey, Ben, Mel, Linds, Gus, Emmett, Hunter, Jennifer and Molly. “Say cheese,” I said and snapped the picture. I looked at them and smiled. For the first time in my life, I knew exactly where I belonged: here.


End file.
